Story0
Script1
Acting2
Directing1
Sexiness0
Reader Rating1 Vote1.1
The Good
HA!
The Bad
You got 2 hours?
I would rather re-watch Batman V Superman
Lol, no. Just kidding BVS is still worse.
0.8

50 Shades Freed is a stupid movie. It’s laughably bad, and its Twilight roots are barely hidden.

And yet, all of this simply means that it was able to adhere to its horrible source material, meaning whoever worked on this adaptation was still actually able to read, unlike the morons who made Batman V Superman.

50 Shades Freed was such an unnecessary movie (like the rest of the franchise) that it seems more appropriate that I spend the rest of this review talking about why it’s still better than Batman V Superman.

But I think prolonging any conversation that speaks of the 50 Shades franchise or Batman V Superman could be well considered criminal and I have no intent to start the year this way.

So let’s just leave it as: 50 Shades Freed, like its predecessors is made for the beyond idiotic, desperate-for-attention, and emotionally needy-to-the-point-of wanting-a-stalker Tumbletards who insist on writing Harry Potter fan fiction with Severus Snape sexing Hermione or Sirius and James Potter getting it on in the Gryffindor common room.

And if you happen to think that Batman V Superman was a well-written film with competent story-telling because the juvenile faux-darkness of the film made you feel special, then congrats: 50 Shades Freed is the romance movie you both need and deserve.